Starting a sleep routine

I’ve often had trouble getting sleep. Sometimes it’s because I’ve been working to hard and it’s hard to wind down, sometimes it’s because of stress that I need to get out of my body, sometimes it’s because of noise in the neighbourhood, sometimes it’s because of hot weather or hayfever. However, I’ve recently found something that seems to help.

Last Sunday afternoon, after a few nights not not much sleep, I was watching Ask the Doctor on the ABC. The episode was about sleep and why people have difficulty sleeping. If you’re in Australia (or using a VPN) you should be able to watch it here while the episode is available.

One of the suggestions that I found really interesting was having a wind-down routine before going to bed. They suggested turning off screens at a set time, having a snack (eg. milk and a biscuit), a shower (I normally shower in the morning and not the evening), and reading something that isn’t work or study related.

So I tried doing something like that last Sunday. At 9pm I started getting ready for bed. Most of the stuff I’m interested in reading is on my tablet, so rather than turning it off I put it on night shift (which gives the screen a dull, brownish shade instead of the normally bluish glow). I had some milk and crackers, had a shower and then got in bed to read. I pretty quickly found I was falling asleep. Each night in the last week that I’ve been able to follow that routine I’ve had a great sleep. Even if I have a couple of nights where I don’t get a good sleep, that’s entirely manageable when it’s compared to a week of poor sleep.

Another thing I’ve been trying is sleeping on my side. I haven’t slept on my side since a few years ago when I was very sick and was diagnosed with an arthritic condition. At that time I found that if I slept on my side it was really bad for my joins, so I started sleeping on my back most of the time. However, sleeping on my back was probably making me snore more.

This week I have found that sleeping on my side still causes some pain, and I often wake up for a bit in the middle of the night. However, if I have gone to bed early enough I can manage waking up in the middle of the night, getting up for a little while to rest my joints, and then going back to sleep again. Because I’ve gone to bed early enough, I’ll still get enough sleep.

I’m not saying that this kind of routine would work for everyone, but I’ve found this works for me. I’m interested in hearing what others have found helpful?

Presence

Earlier in the week I noticed Kaitlin Curtice’s blog post, ‘People Who Hold Space Will Heal the Church’, and I’m interested in what she says about holding space. She basically says that the church (and I think a lot of other institutions too) like to try and manage people rather than holding space where transformation could occur. (Reminds me a lot of the stuff I’ve been re-reading in Henri Nouwen’s book, Reaching Out.

On a similar theme, I’ve been thinking about what it means to be present to someone.

Sometimes it just means what some of us might regard as trivial bullshit. Talking about the weather, exchanging friendly banter, talking shit…

But we need to be alert to when that’s not what’s needed, when our guest has something deep they need to talk about – illness, love, death, family…

We’ve also got to be attentive to when someone just needs silence or space.

Sometimes presence means sitting with someone. Something it means banter. Sometimes it means politeness. Sometimes it means eye contact. Sometimes it means (thank God) no eye contact. Sometimes it means depth. Its just being present to the person and situation and responding as appropriate.

Gastvrijheid: freedom for the guest

In Reaching Out, Henri Nouwen talks about hospitality as ‘freedom for the guest’. (He says this is the literal meaning of the Dutch word for hospitality, gastvrijheid.) This means that we aren’t welcoming the guest in order to try and change them. Instead we’re welcoming them into a space of emptiness, a space where transformation might happen, but where we don’t know what the transformation might look like. It’s not a space where we’re seeking to influence them to take on our ideology, religion or way of life. It’s not a space that the host tries to fill with themself. It’s a space where the host and guest can discover each other and potentially be transformed by the encounter.

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Three ways of making room

I’ve been sick and exhausted for a while because a lot of things have been going on at once. This week i got to have a couple of days to be at home and rest. That’s a way of making room.

I also got to do some cleaning and tidying before a new housemate moves in to be more involved with our project. That’s another way of making room.

While we had a room empty, I was using the empty room to work and study, so I’ve needed to move my things. But that’s been an opportunity to rethink how I can best use the space I have. I don’t have a lot of space to work and study in, but I’d allowed it to get pretty messy and inefficient. I’d also had some ideas about how I could better organise the space, so it would be easier to work in. that’s another way of making room.